Friday, April 15, 2005 Suscribe to this blog


Surreal sanny @ 5:11 PM


That exam's over, I found my fountain pen and spectacles (yesterday, both of them) and I'm going on a holiday soon, and now I'm watching...



Korean drama 大长今 Dae Jang Geum(this one with Lee Yong Ae as the lead, who's about the only Korean actress I honestly admire-the drama's quite good by the way, although no hotties - 师奶杀手 at best...sad...I wanna know how the real Jang Geum looked like...nice when you're famous, you get outrageously pretty people to potray you! But for this time, I like the main character)

Anyway whilst studying for my examination I found these interesting lecture note materials, both on hotel services...actually I missed these lectures because it was the last few and I was rushing my projects then (anyway I'm always fighting sleepiness during Strategic Management lectures) . Oh yea I can't believe it, the world is really small, soon enough Marissa is really going to know Edison! 頑張って下さいね～!!! It's fate, it's fate hahah (can I blabber?). Kasian tinggal ogut buntutnya aja ga ada... (T_T) *nangis deras* Ok ok now for some diversion to forget about my feeling so left out.

CASE ONE: Bureaucracy (warning: very long! but...read on)
NOTE: Dial, Camay, Cashmere Bouquet, Ivory are soap types

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman

Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed, so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed to do by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complementary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
Your regular maid,
Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.
Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 745AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our Maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
-On shelf under medicine cabinet: 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
-On Kleenex dispenser: 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
-On bedroom dresser: 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
-Inside medicine cabinet: 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2
-In shower soap dish: 6 Camay, very moist.
-On northeast corner of tub: 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
-On northwest corner of tub: 6 Camay in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future spot deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

End of CASE ONE

I found the case quite amusing, couldn't stop laughing and lost my initial focus and purpose; which was to study for my examination paper. Next.

CASE TWO: Yet another hotel conversation

Morny, rune sore-bees.
Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

Rye. Rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?
Yes, order something. This is room thirteen-on-five. I want...

Okay, torino-fie. Yes plea?
I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Ow July then?
What?

Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...?
Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled, please.

Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
Crisp will be fine.

Okay. An Santos?
What?

Santos. July Santos?
Uh...I don't know...I don't think so.

No? Judo one toes?
Look. I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what judo-one-toes means. I'm sorry...

Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eenlish mopping we bother?
English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

We bother?
No. Just put the bother on the side.

Wad?
I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

Copy?
I feel terrible about this but...

Copy. Copy, tea, mill...
Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

One Minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle-aches, crease baycome, tossy eenlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
Whatever you say.

Okay. Tenjewberrymud.
You're welcome.

I just felt like hot pressing this in my mind. Maybe I sound like that when speaking a foreign language. Hope not. Well so far I haven't got hotel problems, thank goodness, except in places where the hotel staff's level of English proficiency is suspect. Right now the most difficult consonant for me is 'r', as in the French 'r' or Portuguese 'r' in double 'r' or preceding 'r'. Man I hate R...although I can rattle R off like a rattlesnake due to my Indonesian, these Europeans' nasal/throaty/whatever 'R' really does take practice. Hey, actually I noticed that I really don't fancy R in most word endings. Remember the -oR ending stress tags? What's wrong with me? Probably I ate too many 'R' shaped alpha bit cereals.